Dear Abby: My wife constantly puts me down – am I being abused?

Dear ABBY: I am a 50-year-old man, married for 17 years with two children. I have a mostly good marriage, but I have noticed things that bother me. Almost every day, my wife seems to insult me ​​or make a sarcastic comment.

I work long hours due to the nature of my job, which my wife claims I am a slave to. Every time I get a raise, my wife says, “Is that all?” She never seems happy with what I do. We are in debt, but she works part-time at what she calls a “princess job” that pays well by the hour, but she only works three days a week. Sometimes, however, it does not work for months.

My wife seems uninterested in anything I try to tell her that has nothing to do with her. While she cooks, I do most of the other work. Lately I’ve become less happy with my situation, though I admit I’m not without my faults. It makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me. I wonder if I can’t make my wife happy, could I? anya happy one?

A friend told me he thinks I’ve been mentally abused for years. Could it be true? There are times when things feel good. It’s embarrassing to ask, but HAVE Am I really abused? Has it been going on for a long time and I’m noticing it now? – LESS THAN HAPPY IN MICHIGAN

Dear less than: Your friend may have a point. It is not only women who are subjected to abuse by their husbands; it happens to men too. Your wife hardly supports you if she snipes at you every day and refuses to recognize your accomplishments at work.

I wish you had mentioned why you and your wife are in debt. It may contribute to the stress that has occurred in your marriage. While I hesitate to advise you to take on more expenses, it may benefit you to speak with a licensed counselor, either for you and your wife, or just you.

Dear ABBY: My daughter is 16. She has been with her boyfriend, who is 18, for a year. She says she loves him but doesn’t want to date. She also doesn’t like to give him hugs (the only kind of affection shown). I’ve told her it’s okay if she doesn’t like him that way, and it’s okay to not have a boyfriend at all. She says she doesn’t want to talk about it.

I am worried because this is not normal. He can only see her when she allows him to come to our house. She could go weeks without seeing him and be fine. He is so in love with my daughter that I don’t think he will end their relationship. I just want her to be happy, and she doesn’t seem to be. I try to let her figure things out on her own, but her dad and I are at a loss. How can we help him? – SOMETHING IS WRONG IN OHIO

DEAR: You and your husband should stay out of this. This is your daughter’s problem (if there is a problem) to solve. She may like this young man only as a friend, or she may take her time to figure out where her true feelings lie. Once she does, SHE will end it. If her lover (I use this term advisedly) wants more than he gets, he will eventually draw the line himself.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.